Sun and Miracle mornings

And here we are. Friday March 12th, 64 out and I am sitting in the sun in my tanktop writing this blog. Wondering what I shall write about today. Its been a while as nothing much has happened and I also still keep my Dutch blog alive so it doesn’t feel like its been a while.

So little is happening in live nowadays and at the same time a lot is actually happening in our lives. We are currently down to 16 weeks until returning to Holland, that sounds so incredibly soon. So I will keep it to almost 4 months left, that sounds way better:-)!

The weather is getting better which also gives us more options to hang out with friends YAY! We have had several outdoor playdates already and still going strong and loving it! It makes me so happy to hang out with my friends while the children are enjoying playing with their friends what they have missed so so much the last months.

I am feeling good, I am not stressed and I'm actually making a lot of progress. This week I've started to sell some things on Facebook, got rid of the Elliptical, coffee table, big Livingroom cube closet which takes up lots of space. We still have those months to go and people are worrying that we will be spending that time in an empty house. I can reassure everyone that we have been able to collect enough stuff over the course of 4 year to have it not feel empty at all😊. The good thing about getting rid of those things is that it forces me to go through it all.

Good friends are taking a bunch of our furniture and therefor we are able to keep that until close to leaving, which is awesome and so helpful. So I don’t have to worry about that anymore. Over the course of the last months I have been purging so much already that I'm actually surprised that we have anything left really. But much much more to get rid of. Think about all the kitchen appliances, we have so many, but none of it will be working in Holland so we will have to get rid of those, but off course we still need it now, so wont get rid of it yet!

I like the whole organizing project, it is one of my superpowers so I don’t mind doing it lol! Deciding what will be shipped and what will be going to fly on the plane with us is a little bit harder. But we will get there.

One thing that will def help me in the process is the fact that we heard this week that the kids will be going back to school full time per April 5th, we couldn’t be more excited about that! That will be awesome for them of course, to hopefully have some normalcy for the remainder of the year!!! I wish that so much for them!

Also, Nynke had an online introduction to her new school this week. She followed different fun short classes with some teachers and enjoyed it. It also brought some anxiety, but I think that is part of the whole process. It is a big choice that she is making, especially at this young age. Looking at everything with what we know now, it probably would’ve been best to have one more year here and then have her go to the highschool in Holland. She is still young, but to mature to go back to the elementary level there. We will just take it one step at a time and we are probably just worrying while she will just ROCK IT! I wouldn’t be surprised by that considering how she is doing it all!

It is so funny to see how resilient the kids are, also in this whole moving process. When I said we were getting rid of several pieces of furniture, Pim right away jumped up and visualized redecorating the whole living. They get very excited about the move in general, which is a good thing. An hour later that excitement can turn like the New England weather though, they can be instantly sad, but also recover quick again!

For now, we will just go on what we are doing…Enjoying our time here as much as possible while also prepping for our leave. Everything is quite organized so far, just don’t come by to look at the mess in my house😊.

Meanwhile I have a new hobby lol. I’ve been listening to two audio books: Dear Good Morning (is Dutch) and The Miracle Morning. Its never been hard on me to wake up early, but I could def be grouchy if the kids start fighting before having my coffee etc. But I’ve been listening to lots of audiobooks during the walks I try to take a few times a week. So after finishing the books I’ve taken the challenge to get up every morning at 6 am, workout a bit, meditate and read and write in my journal. And I must say, stepping out at 6 am is not always the easiest (though now its getting warmer its def getting better), but I am so much more calm after I finish everything and coming downstairs after. It sounds like the perfect picture and it really isn’t, also I don’t have very small kids anymore which makes it easier to fit it in in my life, but I totally understand moms that have been doing this longer a lot better now. There is something about starting the day with time for yourself before the hectic of the day takes over. So I can def recommend reading or listening to one of those books and then see for yourself if it would be interesting for yourself. For whoever knows my husband, he is the most hardcore nigh owl there is and would never get out of bed unless I would kick him out (usually me being very annoyed). But he was up for the challenge and he started getting up at 6:30 himself and going outside to run…he loves it so far! We are only about 2 weeks into the challenge, but who knows what comes from it! I always like to think you have to try everything once in your life:-). I for one am happy that I started this, especially now before the good weather kicks in and it will even be easier to wake up when the weather is nice and the sun is up already! So I will def go on as long as it feels good!

And now its already time to jump in the car to go pick up Nynke and then Pim. My mind wanders to Holland a bit thinking how different it will all be in a few months. End of August when they will start their new schools and Pim will ride his bike or walk to school everyday. Nynke will ride her bike to school everyday without me, but with friends or by herself. Crazy to think how much their life will change, they don’t realize it yet but there are many things that they will love we are sure, in spite of all we will also gonna miss here!

Ok, gotta post this and then run. Such a shame, it is lovely in the sun here! Hope to see you soon!

XO

Life is better with friends

I have this little friend, a very special one I might say. Him and his mom were our first friends here in America and they have a special place in my heart. They welcomed us into their home and life even though they knew that we would not stay here indefinitely. While we extended our stay, we would still eventually leave but I think the adults were mostly aware of that, if you are 8 years old it is not really something that you are thinking of all the time (and I think that is a very healthy thing).

Now the moment of our leave comes closer, the little ones start to realize it more and more as well as we talk about it sometimes when we see them. Or it is part of the conversations at their house with their parents.

I wrote about it before, not sure if it was in my Dutch or in this blog, sorry! But the point was that a few weeks ago, within a few days I received a phone call and two texts from friends about their children being so sad about us leaving (up to the point of crying over it). That was hard for us to hear. When we left our family and friends in 2017 we realized that we left them hurting and missing us, we did this to them:-( Now we are moving back, we are realizing some people will be hurting again with us leaving. Our wonderful friends whom we will miss so much as well. We are doing this to them☹. I know it sounds weird, but that is how it sometimes feels to us.

And then there is my little special friend who has a plan. He asked me last week where I keep my plane tickets because he would then go find them in my house and hide them. I told him that plane tickets are in the computer these days, he went back to sledding. But yesterday he came by to bring us some Valentines treats and he asked me where I keep my computer. I told him that we didn’t book our plane tickets yet. He started wondering on how he could hack my computer. I am sure he will try to think of more things to keep us here. It warms my heart that he loves us as much as we love him, but it also pains me and makes me cry some days thinking about missing him and our other friends. Lets be honest, it is not a little drive away for a playdate and/or cup of coffee, it is an 6,5-8 hour flight over the Atlantic Ocean. We did learn in the past few years though that it might be 5600 Kilometers away, but in heart it doesn’t always have to feel that far away. To be totally honest, I have grown closer with my family and a few friends than I think I would’ve if we would have not moved to America. Both me and the people I’m referring to have put in a lot more effort to stay in touch, maybe because the distance was so big. We have had lots of long phone calls and some of them came to visit us and stayed in our house for a few days or even weeks. That made for wonderful and special moments and conversations that we otherwise would not have had. (Lets be honest, how often do you have sleepovers with friends as adults.)

I feel like I already know who will stay in our life, even though we will be so many miles away. I feel that I am so different from when I was in my 20’s and 30’s. I know myself so much better being in my 40’s. And with knowing myself better I think it also is safe to say that friendships you make later in life can fit like a glove. When you are younger you are still getting to know yourself, you build a relationship with a partner, get kids and things sometimes change and you can grow apart. I was talking about that with a friend from Holland this week, one that I got closer to in the past few years of being here, mainly over texts. Before that we were in touch, but not as much as they had moved a few hours north a few years ago. We were talking about how we both feel that there are so many people crossing your paths in life, some stay and some go. I don’t regret any! Some friendships ended painful for me, some maybe for them. But I do feel that everyone crosses your path for a reason, everyone contributes something, how fun or how painful it might be. I don’t hold a grudge to anyone, I am even in touch with some again after years of not being in touch. I love to see people that I spend special moments with years ago and hearing/seeing how they are doing now. I also feel very strongly about quantity versus quality. I might not see you for a year, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. If it feels good at the moments that we do see each other or speak to each other, it is perfect for me! Despite that, I love to stay in touch, even if it’s a quick text or phone call.

A nice example is that after our first 1,5 years here we made our first trip to Holland as a family. Most of you know that I very much like to be in control of pretty much everything lol. And that I like to plan. And so I did, I planned the whole trip as we wanted to see so many people. (Safe to say that we were absolutely EXHAUSTED after that trip and we never did it like that again.) But what I want to say is that I felt very strongly that I wanted to have a dinner date with 5 old co-worker-friends. I was still in touch with all of them individually, one more than the other. But we always had so much fun together that I felt like spending an evening with them. But I also felt like I should visit others (like family) over them. I ended up doing a lot in that week as mentioned because I wanted to visit everyone who wanted to see us and that we wanted to see. The times after that when I visited, I didn’t do that anymore. I planned dates with who I wanted and I didn’t break my head around everyone's own planning anymore. If it worked out it was great, if not bummer. What I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t matter how often you talk to someone, if you have a great time and you leave with a good feeling, then it is worth doing it!

Another story worth sharing is my other, very special friend, that anticipated very well to us leaving, right from the start. She tried very hard not to become friends with me. To be honest, she literally said to me that she liked me very much but if I was leaving in two years she couldn’t be friends because then she would have to say good bye. It didn’t work out for her, we became very close😊 and I am still so very happy about that. And I don’t regret our move here by an inch, it brought us so so much. Not only the wonderful friendships that I know will stay a lifetime, but all the relationships I made here. The teachers and other staff at school that started to feel like co-workers the past three years of me being President, the parents in town that we meet on so many different occasions, all the children at school, our neighbors and Erik’s co worker and his wife who feel like family. It is insane and amazing how many wonderful people we have met here.

Someone at facebook in a group for women that live around the world asked this morning what all of us women living in other countries have learned in their new communities and what they embrace. I spend some time thinking about that this morning and one of the first things I wrote down is that people stand up for each other here in Raynham. If something bad happens everyone helps, I loved experiencing that here! And volunteering that is so much more normal here then I experienced in Holland before. I love the giving culture that I really had to get used to. I think I have always been very giving, but here it is so much more. Teaching our kids that you have to put effort in friendships, that it doesn’t always just come for nothing (that might just be me though, I would've thought them that regardless where they grow up). Thanking people with little gestures, showing respect for others. And the hugs that are so much more normal here than it was with me growing up in Holland. The "I love you" that sounds so much better then the “Ik hou van je!” in Holland and the hug that feels so much better then the handshake or the three kisses on the cheeks like we do in Holland. The respect that children learn to have in school, for their teachers, for the other staff and for their peers. I loved to see all those things over the years here.

But mostly what I love about our time here is what I learned about myself. Me being as outgoing and enthusiastic as I am, has not always been beneficial. I have heard often that I should tone it down when I was younger. Not everyone likes the extravert in me as much, which is ok as I can’t like everyone either and that is all ok. But one of the things I have learned over the past years is that I am not only an Extravert, I'm an Extravert and an Introvert. I need alone time and down time as much as I thrive on time with others. This is something that Corona made easier for me but also living in Amerika did that before Corona even hit. I found that it was a lot harder to do that in Holland when we were still there. Now I have learned that about myself, I plan to make sure I take more time for myself when back in Holland. I also know that that will be a lot harder, especially after I start working again when we are back. But I love that I have learned so much about myself. I know that I want to keep on giving, there are so many people that don’t have it as good as we do and I love the pay it forward culture that goes around here in Raynham. I am planning on doing more of that when back in Holland. I hope to find a place to go on volunteering my time, I'm sure I will find something that will fit but I have no idea yet. I also am not gonna rush it. We will take the time to land and to acclimate.

Only last Thursday we found out that the new school from Nynke will have an introduction day on July 7th. She will meet her classmates, her mentor and other teachers and have a tour around her new school (In Holland you start Highschool around 12, so it is a whole new adventure). As we were planning to fly out on the 9th it feels silly that she will have to miss it over just a few days. So that has made us decide to leave a week earlier, most likely on July 3rd. That way not only Nynke can start her year off as best as possible, but also Pim will be having 1,5 weeks in his new class before summer vacation will start. We are sure they will adapt regardless of this all, but it might help make some new friends before the 6 week summer vacation. That will be nice!

So that means we are down to 20 weeks - 2 days. The count down has started!

XO

The first “lasts”

I’m sitting down after, or actually while, doing my clean up. A winter storm is going on. Despite that, Erik and the kids are on their way to their ski lessons that weren’t canceled. Those Sunday afternoons while they have ski lessons, I use to clean the house. Today I am also taking down the “Slingers” or decoration from Pim’s 9th birthday. While I am putting away the last decorations, I am thinking I can put them upstairs in the box that we are putting all the stuff in that we are not using anymore. Suddenly I think of my next blog (yup, the one I am writing down now). I am thinking: this is our first last, but then I realize its not. We already had our last Christmas, our last Thanksgiving, our last New Year. And Nynke, Erik and my last birthday. And now, this was the last birthday in this house, the last birthday we are celebrating in America. Oh boy! It is getting so real lately.

As of this week it is only 5 more months until we leave. 4 months left at school, 22 weeks until we leave. When you say it like that, it really sounds so short. We are still able to hang with friends outside, not today but yesterday was a beautiful day and we had friends Ruben and Anna over with the kids. A little party in the garage and on the driveway together with balloons, decorations, cake, bitterballen (yum) and good company. So nice that we are still able to do that! We took a nice walk and had a great time!

This morning I woke up…STRESS!!!! Yesterday Erik mentioned to our friends that it is a little stressful to think about having to take a test just before we have to set foot on that airplane. If one of us is tested positive we cannot fly of course. But, what do we do then? No more house, everything shipped on the boat and only a few things (lots of M&M’s) in our suitcases. Where will we stay then, what do we do then? Crazy to think of but it gets even more complicated. I didn’t think of that yesterday, but this morning it hit me…the passport of the kids will expire on July 25th of this year, only 2 weeks after our planned travel date. In case of a positive test result everything will get real tight with that. Of course, we cannot fly with expired passports. But getting a new passport is not easy too because in order to get a new one we have to go to NY, Washington, Miami or San Francisco, those are the only places where you can get a new passport. Pfffff…..the last time we made an appointment at the consulate it got cancelled for a long time because of the Pandemic…. Maybe by that time we will all be vaccinated and we don’t have to test anymore, but we really cannot take that chance. Lets just say in one word how this all makes me feel at this moment………”AAAARRRGGGGHHHH”.

Ok, now I have that of my chest, lets become productive.

Message send to Ambassy for advice: √

Talk with Erik about me wanting to try to renew the passports: √

Looking for Airbnb’s in Washington (with good wifi so we can all work from there): √

Ok, stress level is down a bit! We will figure it out, like we always will. But boy….this whole remigration process is definitely challenging at times!

Time for a cup of tea!

XOXO