Feeling lots better

Wendy
Nov 23, 2021
6 min read

Friday November 5th 2021

Today is a good day for a good day! That is what I posted on my Instagram account this morning!

Earlier this week I made plans with my one of my dear friends whom I hadn’t seen yet. She wasn’t able to come to me so I held off and said that we would make tentative plans as I (nor can anyone else) look into the future and see how I feel. But today I’m feeling good! I’m excited to see her, she will be here any minute. “Here” is at the local Starbucks by the way, that also contributes to feeling happy today😊.

This week I feel different. Lighter, happier. Things are easier at home, with the kids. Nynke seems to feel better and the moods from the kids I can deal with easier it seems. The reason? I don’t know. Things are falling into place more and more maybe? The help that we asked for being put into place (even though none of that will probably start until about half January). The decision we made about our house, not having to think about maybe moving and all the stress that comes with that. Erik having a great week at work, the kids coming home happy and having fun with their sports and with friends.

I even dressed up twice this week already, crazy right?! And with dressing up, I’m talking about jeans and half high boots, maybe a bit of lipstick and today even eyeshadow and some mascara (should probably buy a new one after so many months😉).

My body still not cooperating though. Went to Shiatsu yesterday and man….that was no fun. And I mean OUCH!!!! But it is for a good cause, usually I do feel better afterwards.

This weekend looks fun too. Saturday morning we all start with sports here. Pim has his athletics/track training in the woods for the first time tomorrow. Erik will go with him. Nynke has Lifeguard class and I have Yoga. Pims Athletics organization has its 60 yo birthday this year and is celebrating that in the Zoo tomorrow afternoon. We have not been there for about 5 years by now and as it was the place were we have spend sooooo many hours with the kids as we had a membership and it is only about 10 minutes away from our house, we are very excited to go there. And the weather seems to cooperate as well, so that is great!!!

This month it is Namaste November at my gym and they are organizing lots of different yoga classes, meditation classes etc. Tonight is my first one, given by my regular (and favorite) yoga teacher. Oh, Marianne is here. To be continued!!!

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Tuesday November 23rd 2021

So, this was November 5th, 2,5 weeks ago and I have thought about finishing this post but I just couldn’t find the time. YES!!!! I just couldn’t find the time! It had nothing to do with not wanting, feeling down or depressed or missing Amerika so much I just couldn’t write about it. JUST-NO-TIME! How liberating this feels.

Its November 23rd today. And today was a good day! Just like most days the past 2,5 weeks. Don’t get me wrong, there are hard moments but doesn’t that count for everyone? In life, that there are good days and not so good days? That’s what I keep telling myself. It seems we have found some kind of routine in a hectic life which is nice after the past few months.

Last Saturday I had to make the tough decision to go to yoga or walk with my coach. I cancelled the coach two weeks ago as my body was not cooperating and it was hard to find a new date. The only option we found was Saturday, same time as my yoga (which I really don’t like to miss as it had really been helping me). I decided on the coaching though and I ended up summarizing the past weeks and the steps I made. While doing that, I started to realize that I was actually doing pretty good lately and that I had made some real big steps in the process the past weeks. It’s a little too much and in some ways a little to personal to get into that, but that is also not really necessary. The most important thing is that I see the progress myself and that a lot comes down to my mindset (isn’t it always). I’ve known that feeling the way I have felt is part of a grieving process that is pretty normal considering our circumstances, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

For now, the status is that I have been feeling lighter, happier and I have been seeing friends and family a lot more. I have been going to the gym which helps. And the kids and Erik feel a lot better it seems as well. I have switched our furniture around upstairs and in our living with some help of my mom and we really like that too. Things in the house are finding a spot more and more, and we don’t have any boxes left that we haven’t gone through yet.

Thanksgiving is in 2 days and we have decided to celebrate with the 4 of us this year. We have considered asking friends from Amerika (that live in Holland now as well) to celebrate with us, but that was a bit to much for now so hopefully that is an option next year. Unfortunately no day off here, so first work and school for us. But after that we will celebrate in our own Dutch way, by not eating a big turkey, but by cooking little things at the table on a grill and spending time together. The kids really wanted that so why not😊.

Then Sinterklaas will stop by on December 5th. Eriks b'day is the 16th and then Christmas. We were very much looking forward to the lights from Christmas and the joy that brings and decided to put up the tree etc yesterday. Way to early according to (especially) lots of Dutch friends lol. But last year we were even earlier and it brought some joy to that crappy Corona year, so why not! We are loving our decorations, especially as most of them are wonderful memories that we treasure for the rest of our life. I will be taking the kids shopping to both pick out a new ornament like we did in Amerika every year, that way we can start making more Christmas memories in Holland to add to the tree. We are ready as can be for December!

Another great thing is that my old boss reached out to me two weeks ago, asking if I could be of some help supporting the team leader with some work as it is very busy at the moment. I went to have coffee with him and today I signed my contract. Its only for a few hours a week to start with, but who knows what it will come down to. It gives me something for myself which I am looking forward to so I am happy and grateful for the opportunity to get back into the working life after our Amerika adventure. I will start next week and am very much looking forward to it.

I am sitting in the coffee corner of the gym waiting for Nynke to be ready and I decided not to work out today as I did yoga and Kickboxing yesterday and I biked about 10 km (appr. 6 miles) to downtown. I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to sit and take some time to write this blog.

After a sad message from a good friend of mine this afternoon I am even more determined to count my blessings and make most of everyday (which I started doing everyday since a few weeks by exchanging a text with three things I’m grateful for every day).

I will share some with you here as well:

*I am grateful to have two places to call home

*I am grateful to have so many wonderful friends, old and new ones, that I get to love and that love me

*I am grateful to have learned so many lessons by traveling the world and meeting many beautiful individuals