Dreams

Last week it was only 100 days until we leave. That sounds like a lot! But now try 14 weeks, that sounds ridiculously short and that makes me so sad:-( The low point last week was booking our tickets. We have known all the time we would eventually be leaving, we even knew around what time, we have been planning everything for months already, but boy did it hit hard when we paid for the tickets. I cried for a whole day and I still get emotional when I think about it.

Yes, it is our own choice to move back, it was always meant to be temporary to begin with. And initially we were supposed to only stay 2 years, which turned into 4 years pretty much overnight it seems. But that really doesn’t make it any easier. It is like breaking up a relationship, it is your choice, but it still makes you so sad it will end:-(

The other day I looked up the numbers from the kids, how much they have grown since we arrived here. Nynke grew over 20 cm and Pim even more then 22 cm. We haven’t checked for the last 5 months, so it might even be more. I sure am almost looking my daughter straight in her eyes when she stands next to me. I think within a year she will have passed me.

Not only in length did they grow, they are turning in these amazing little/big creatures, with their own opinion and their own humor, and their own emotions. Last week I wrote a Dutch blog totally out of my comfort zone. I wrote how proud I am on how we did all this the past 4 years. We all grew so much, as a person, as a family, in our work, at school. Everyone of us did in their own way. And I am so proud of what we all achieved. That is not something you would normally just say out loud, let alone write it in a blog on the World Wide Web for everyone to see. I don’t want people to think that I’m arrogant. But I do think in general that it would be a good thing for everyone to be more proud at ourselves than we are used to doing. Just take a minute and look at how you are getting through this Pandemic. Everyone in their own way and everyone with their own struggles, but we’re all doing it one way or another. And we should be proud of the little things we accomplish and/or achieve, especially during these trying times.

But anyways, back to ourselves here. One of the things that I am so terribly proud of is concerning Nynke. She did something so selfless last week. In order to go back to school per April 5th there needed to be another class formed in 5th grade. And the school was asking for volunteers, so that they wouldn’t have to appoint anyone if not necessary. Nynke came up to me and said she wanted to volunteer to go to the new class. When we asked her why, she said that she doesn’t really mind to switch and if there wouldn’t be enough volunteers, some kids would be really sad if they would be picked. And with her volunteering, she said, at least that would be one kid less being sad. And that from a kid that has to make a huge move in three months, not only going to a new school again, but moving to the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Erik and I are beyond proud of her and also feel confident that she will be doing awesome wherever she will be placed in the world really!

I know so many people that have said that they could never do what we did. Leave everything and everyone behind. And now we are doing it again. And my answer is always that you can do anything you want. So maybe the better question for that would be if you would be open to do anything like it, not if you can do it. And then of course, if you have a partner, it is not only your choice. Erik and I were lucky enough wanting to take the plunge together. We didn’t know that we wanted this until about 10 years in our relationship. Only then we started talking about it and then we were also lucky to be able to do this.

As I might have written about before, not everyone understands or knows how hard it is for Europeans to come and live in Amerika. It is not that you can decide one day that you want to come over to Amerika and you just hop on a plane and build a live here. We realize very well that we have been so very lucky that we got this opportunity. Of course we took the initial initiative ourselves by putting out there at Erik's job that we were open to relocation, but then we were extremely lucky that Erik has this special knowledge that they really needed here in Amerika in his company. And that was only the beginning of a very long, bureaucratic and very stressful process that took a good year of preparation on our part and on Erik's company before we found out half May 2017 that we were granted a visa. It wasn't until that moment we knew for sure we would be able to go. Two months later we stepped foot on the airplane with the kids after a very emotional good bye to our loved ones.

So, of course it is not that easy to just pick up your kids and partner and just do what we did and also, it is not for everyone as everyone is different and has different dreams. But I do want to say that it all starts with dreams and then with setting the first steps towards that dream. It is often not about the goal itself, it really is the road towards the goal. We are not even near our end dreams for our family. Moving back to the Netherlands is not our dream, but also staying in Amerika is not our dream, no matter how much we love to live in both places and how much we love the people in those places. We haven’t set our next dream yet, even though we have some thoughts and will work towards creating a new dream together. But for now we will first enjoy the last few months in our beloved Raynham and with our wonderful friends as much as possible. And then we are gonna cry our eyes out when we set foot on the plane after saying good bye to our friends and self chosen family here. And then, after we are reunited with our family and friends in Holland we are gonna build us another wonderful life there. When we have settled back into everything we are sure that there will be room again for new dreams, big or little!

We are not even near ready to leave all this behind, but we will be and we will make our new adventure one to remember as much as our Amerika adventure!

XO